Walkin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu

If you're reading this article, chances are you've been on the Internet or had a TV on at some point in the last couple of days, and have heard about what must surely be the most widely publicized case of pneumonia in the history of the world. If, however, you've been living off the grid in preparation for the impending social collapse that the 2016 presidential election will almost certainly lead to, and this article has been printed out and mailed to you by a loved one desperate for you to return to society (a plausible enough scenario in my mind), here's what happened. Sunday marked the fifteen year anniversary of the September 11 attacks. That was largely overshadowed, however, by the health concerns of second most polarizing political candidate ever to run for president of the United States. 

Hint: She's only surpassed by this guy

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump both attended a 9/11 ceremony in New York, but Clinton was forced to leave early after apparently feeling overheated and dizzy. Video can be seen in which she clearly loses her balance while getting into her van, and her secret service detail basically just pick her up and throw her in - a move which would seem undignified in other circumstances, but we've all been so desensitized by this campaign that it doesn't really register. About two hours later she emerged from her daughter's residence, looking recuperated - and then it came to light that she had in fact been diagnosed with pneumonia on Friday. Clinton had shown signs of sickness prior to Sunday, but had put her cough down to allergies, and after the revelation said she hadn't made her diagnosis public because she hadn't thought it would be a big deal.

If she had been pretty much anyone besides a candidate for president of the United States, she would have been right. Pneumonia might be a pain in the ass, but it's hardly a death sentence.....for most people. Couple it with the strain of running for president at a fairly advanced age, and it's possible that it could be pretty rough. Still, she seems to be in fairly good shape, and the sheer fact that she was able to conceal it suggests that it might in fact not be that big a deal. So, end of that story, right? 

Wrong.

As I've said, this case of pneumonia has really caught on in the media. The press seems to be outraged that they weren't privy to this information earlier, and conservatives are voicing concerns about her transparency as well. Which leads liberal commentators to retort that Trump still hasn't released his tax returns. And thus the cycle continues.

I've watched coverage of Clinton's pneumonia continue to grow with frustration, if not with surprise. It's just the most recent example of a non-issue to get media attention out of all proportions with it's actual importance. Where the coverage of the email security or Benghazi seemed to reflect resignation as far as anything meaningful arising out of it, people seem to be saving their righteous indignation for issues like PneumoniaGate (which some assholes are actually calling it). I would like to call upon the American people - are we really this fucking stupid, or are we just too disenchanted with the whole political realm to demand more insightful political commentary?

Because that's really the issue. Journalists and news organizations don't cover stories about pneumonia and other horse shit because they don't attract an audience - they do. We've allowed our news to devolve into fluff pieces and filler stories because real journalism doesn't make money anymore. Hell, most people can't even be bothered to read a newspaper anymore, but they can skim through an article on a news app that's low on information but high on seemingly scandalous detail. The only way we can expect to get actual news - not Hillary Clinton's sniffles, but the actual policies she might enact if elected to the White House - is to patronize actual news sources. If people could make money off of producing real journalism, they would...and then I could go back to doing what I do best, writing snarky articles shitting on movies and TV shows, rather than trying to pass off as a real journalist myself. 

Assuming Clinton is fully recuperated, the first presidential debate of the year will be held Monday, September 28th, and will be broadcast on CNN, Fox News, C-Span, CBS, ABC, and FOX.