The 2016 Presidential Debates, Round 2: Grab Them By The Pussy
“A lot of blood has gone under the bridge since then, and we have all learned a hell of a lot about the realities of Politics in America. Even the politicians have learned – but, as usual, the politicians are much slower than the people they want to lead.”
-- Hunter S. Thompson
On Saturday before the second debate, while flipping through the channels on TV, I stumbled across a presidential debate from years gone by - George H. W. Bush, Clinton, and Ross Perot going at it in 1992. It turns out that C-SPAN was airing replays of previous debates for most of the night, with George W. Bush and Al Gore coming up next. I sat in front of the TV and wept at the very possibility that there were human beings in the world so lonely and bereft of meaning in their lives that they were spending a Saturday night watching this shit. I'm no political junkie, (though I'm more abreast of current events than some people) but I'm here to tell you that in my opinion, presidential debates are about as exciting as watching two Amish men argue about the best way to fertilize a crop of sorghum. Couple that with a choice of two candidates which embodies the phrase "lesser of two evils" and it's really not how I'd choose to spend my night.
It wasn't my intention to even watch the second Clinton/Trump debate, much less write about it, given how tortuous I found it to sit through their first match. In the wake of newly leaked video of Trump bragging about groping and forcing himself sexually on women (I'm going to stop short of accusing a major party's presidential nominee of essentially being a rapist, for legal reasons. It would technically be libelous for me to call Donald Trump a rapist.), and renewed calls for him to drop out of the race (and presumably leave the nomination to running mate Mike Pence, although with the election only weeks away and some states already into early voting, it would be a bit tricky to get him on the ballot in enough states to even have half a shot at winning), I couldn't resist seeing how this town hall debate was going to pan out. And so, it was with a heavy heart that I resolved to sit through Round 2 of my two least favorite people in the world bickering with each other.
My sleep on the night before the debate was troubled by disturbing dreams about the election, about the possibility of a "Hail Mary" on the part of the Republican establishment to force another candidate in, a violent revolution on the part of Trump's dedicated and crazed supporters, about the possibility of an electoral nightmare that would make the Bush/Gore recount and even the Nixon resignation pale in comparison. It may be October, and Halloween only weeks away, and I knew that the scariest movie I would see all month would be the second presidential debate.
It started out reasonably enough. The candidates didn't shake hands before things got started, which was telling, but at least Trump wasn't whipping his dick out and measuring it. He actually began the evening in a fairly restrained manner. Then, the subject of the "grab them by the pussy" comments came up. Trump dismissed it, saying that while he was not proud of it, it was simply "locker room talk." He went on to repeat that phrase easily a dozen times, while also randomly blathering about supporting the police and, of course, "making America great again." Throughout it all, though, he continued to at least pretend to be somewhat contrite. Hillary, when it came her time to weigh in, denounced the remarks in the 2005 video as well as invoking several other of Trump's past scandals. It was at this point, that it got personal.
Over the course of the 100 or so minute train wreck that ensued, Trump repeatedly attacked Hillary's "poor judgement" regarding her emails, interrupted her, childishly whined to the moderators (who repeatedly played the role of exasperated parents as they struggled to keep the candidates, by which I mean Donald Trump, in line) that he wasn't given enough time, made mention of Bill's past indiscretions, and in a particularly dictatorial moment, threatened to throw Hillary behind bars when he was president. All the while, he stalked the stage like a wounded - but still dangerous - rhinoceros, pouted, harrumphed and sighed deeply as Clinton spoke, and generally put on the type of display that could be expected of him. The "town hall" event featured an audience of uncommitted voters sitting in a ring around the candidates, which lent the already surreal spectacle a vibe not unlike that of an episode of The Jerry Springer Show.
Hillary Clinton, for her part, came out of the debate in good form, keeping a detached and composed look throughout the night, opting not to let Trump see her sweat. She may be a Machiavellian shrew bent on fulfilling the desires of the New World Order, but I'll be goddamned if Hillary hasn't handled herself well during these debates. The night ended with the two candidates, at the request of one of the audience members, exchanging compliments, which somehow managed to be the weirdest moment in the weirdest debate of the weirdest presidential election in the history of this particular nation. And at the end of the day, what came of it? Probably, not very much at all. Neither candidate offered much new to attract that most rare of all political creatures, the undecided voters. Hillary performed as well as she ever has - she's not the best debater, but she's done it enough to be able to carry her weight - but I don't see anything she said attracting new votes. Trump played exclusively to his supporters, not bothering to try to appeal to moderates or undecideds, although he did get a few impressive barbs in, like this one:
Hillary: "Its just awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country."
Donald: "Because you'd be in jail."
But, while his own fan base was pleased with his performance, with establishment support fleeing him like rats from a sinking ship, they're not who he really needed to connect with.
And so, we march inexorably closer to election day, and in my opinion, it can't come soon enough. While the outcome, in all likelihood, will be unpleasant at best and apocalyptic at worst, I'd rather have it done with than spend another day dreading it.
The third and final debate between Trump and Hillary will take place on Wednesday, October 19th, although I pray to God I won't put myself through this again. Watch it at your peril.
